Overqualified
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The one to Gillette is awesome:
Do you remember when you were "the best a man can get," Gillette? Before you decided that the best that men could get were faces as soft as baby bottoms? Before you decided that being a man meant being a woman?
You need to go back to your roots. You need to go back to the straight razor. That was a product.
You want dangerous? Forget about speeding cars. You want Gillette razors against a businessman's throat in an alley. Gillette razors hidden in the mouths of inmates. Hidden under their skin. Scabbed over. Finally dug out with dirty fingers in the dark.
You want coming of age? That has nothing to do with a clean shave. You want a young boy sneaking into his father's bathroom. Sneaking a razor from the box. Hiding it in the brim of his baseball cap. Riding his bike hard and fast. In the woods with his best friend. A Gillette razor digging into their palms. That one handshake. Blood brothers.